10 writers I’d love to have coffee with

For the record, I prefer tea to coffee. However, in my part of the world, ‘tea’ can also mean the evening meal or late afternoon snacks, so it’s less confusing if I suggest meeting for coffee. Anyway, here are ten writers I wouldn’t mind having tea, cake and chat with. If any of them are reading this, then (a) I’m honoured and (b) how about it?

Maggie O’Farrell is not only an excellent writer, she has a very interesting life (see her memoir I Am, I Am, I Am). I fear that my own life will sound pretty dull in comparison but maybe she can impart some writing wisdom.

Diane Setterfield has proved herself to be a captivating storyteller in her upcoming novel Once Upon A River. I’d look forward to hearing her stories, ideally at an old inn by the Thames.

Miranda Hart is funny and seems like a lovely person. She likes dogs whereas I like cats, but I’m sure we’d get on despite this. We’d meet in a smart café and I’d be waiting for a typical embarrassing ‘Miranda’ sitcom moment to happen…

Lucy Worsley would be a fascinating person to have coffee with, perhaps during her lunch break at one of the Historic Royal Palaces (of which she’s Joint Chief Curator). She’s an expert on the Georgians in particular and we could chat about her book Jane Austen At Home (my current read).

Bill Bryson writes amusing accounts of his travels and also knows a lot about science, history and language. For some reason I picture us at a traditional seaside café with strong cups of tea and large portions of chips.

Malorie Blackman is an iconic writer from my childhood and a former Children’s Laureate. She also co-wrote the recent Doctor Who episode about Rosa Parks. We could meet in one of those cafés which are also bookshops. There’d be so much to talk about, where to begin?!

Clare Mackintosh‘s novel I See You inspired me to write a psychological thriller of my own. We could meet somewhere cosy to chat about writing and her time in the police. I could even bring along my work in progress for her to look at.

J K Rowling is probably mobbed by Harry Potter fans when she’s out and about, so maybe it’s best if she invites me to her place instead. The safest way to get there would be a Portkey. Hopefully she’ll have tea or coffee, because I don’t fancy Butterbeer or pumpkin juice.

Anthony Horowitz could meet me at a café in London near to his office and I wouldn’t be surprised if something from one of his detective novels happened, like the coffee being drugged and then we wake up tied to chairs in a basement lit by a single bulb while the egotistic baddie explains his evil plans but luckily we escape in time to foil his attempt to take over the world.

Benjamin Zephaniah would be such an interesting person to meet. We’d go to a vegan café somewhere cool and maybe he’d give an impromptu poetry performance. I’d be in awe really, I’d be happy just to let him talk at me.

Which writers would you like to have coffee with?