This film won awards! Including Stinkers for ‘Worst Movie’ and ‘Most Annoying Non-Human Character’, and a Razzie for ‘Worse Excuse for an Actual Movie’.

Dr Seuss wrote this simple rhyming picture book, which was first published in 1957, to make learning to read more fun. The story is told by an unnamed boy, who with his sister Sally is bored at home on a rainy day while their mother is out. Then a tall, cartoon cat enters the house and causes chaos, much to the distress of the pet fish. He lets out two creatures from a crate, who make even more mess. Luckily, he has a machine which cleans and tidies everything before the mother gets home.

I don’t think the movie adaptation is totally devoid of merit. Dakota Fanning is believable and charming as Sally. The film does keep the concept of the story, has a vaguely 1950s style with pastel aesthetic, while the humour is a mixture of crude, anarchic and absurd. However the story has been warped so much that it’s weird but not in an enjoyable way. Why is there purple goo everywhere? Why are there some unpleasant adult jokes? Why is Paris Hilton posing in an underground club where everyone wears red and white striped hats? Why is the cat (Mike Myers) a cross between Krusty the Klown, the Cowardly Lion, the Genie, and Willy Wonka? Why does the cat pretend to be a British chef (using the word ‘bloody’ which apparently Americans think we say all the time) and cut the end off his tail? WHY is this film so horrible?

Some of the changes do make a little sense. For example, there is more at stake in having a tidy house, because the mother is going to have a party for her real estate colleagues that evening, and also the boy (who is named Conrad here) is under threat of military school if he doesn’t start behaving. The cat’s actions help get rid of the mother’s boyfriend (Alec Baldwin), a secret slob who is allergic to cat fur. Like some irresponsible and creepy Mary Poppins, the cat somehow manages to bring the family into harmony. Instead of leaving the kids home alone, we have a babysitter, the useless Mrs Kwan, who spends the whole time asleep and is even used as a raft; whether she’s narcoleptic, or if it’s some magic by the cat, is unclear. As well as the pet fish, there’s also a little dog with a silly hairstyle who when not escaping, is being stolen, or covered in purple goo, or put in a shampooing machine.

As the fish said, ‘Oh, I do not like it! Not one little bit!’

Image credit: Universal Pictures / DreamWorks Pictures – Internet Movie Database, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=81592607